It’s been three years since I was introduced to Ashley Akinns… and I have spent much of the time since introducing her and her amazing story of grace to the world. Her first email arrived on this day in 2007:
January 22, 2007
Hi, I feel kinda weird writing this email. And i doubt if it ever gets to Mr Louie Giglio. I am a Senior at The University of Florida. I got a new roommate this semester and she is a Christian and I have never really been into the whole Christian thing because every pastor or speaker that I have ever listened to didn’t speak in a language I could understand. I have believed in God and Jesus, but never really understood it because the preachers at the church that I have always been forced to go to every Sunday of my life. They speak all high and mighty and I never really felt connected, and I felt like God was only for the perfect people.
Well my roommate went to this Passion Conference over winter break. And she came back and moved into my apt and she was real and genuine about all her Christian stuff, like I have never seen before in a person. She said that God changed her at this conference, so i was like what are you talking about. And she told me. She told me about how God was cool, and how God really wanted a deeper relationship with her, and she wanted to really love God the way he loved her, so of course I was like well huh? She then said you need to listen to Louie talk about God, so I asked who Louie was, and she put on the Indescribable talk, and then we watched the Passport talk. And in the Passport talk you said that Christians do not have to just hope for the best at the end, that they do not have to do enough good stuff. You explained how to get to heaven in a simple way, in a way that I have never heard before. I actually got it, I got it that it is not about being so good, cause I am not a good person. I have screwed up a lot. But then you said grace, and talked about how it was different than other religions. Because God is a loving and a kind God who wants to forgive me. My roommate then explained that he wants to forgive me.
Now for one of the reasons I am thanking you. One, I am now a Christian. And two, my roommate said that she had never really cared about telling others about how much God loved her before she went to this conference. So though I am not sure who will ever read this. Please tell Louie thanks from me, for talking about Christ in a way that a college kid can understand. I know that Jesus has changed my life and as I get ready to graduate college in May, I am gonna be a different person. I am sorry this is kinda rambling but I just had to tell you that I now know about the Grace of God, and I have life for the first time in my 22 years
Ashley
I can remember exactly where I was sitting (tour bus, Phoenix, AZ) when I read Ashley’s email. We were on the heels of Passion 07, and 22,000+ people had just left Atlanta with the idea that we were going to SHINE in this world for Jesus. That always sounds like a grand idea in the moment, but you always wonder when and where the power of the event (what we have all experienced with God during our time together) is going to touch down back in the world we come from. Reading Ashley’s message (and knowing of Christa’s shine-factor!) I said out loud, “That, is what Passion is all about. This girl wasn’t even there, and God has changed her life!”
Obviously, if you’re reading this Blog, there’s a good chance none of this is news to you. I shared Ashley’s email here a few days after I received it (with permission) and her story has since circled the globe and been heard by countless people. Her love for Jesus and new-found faith, coupled with the car accident that took her home to heaven a few months later, have touched people in their dark hours as they try to make sense of circumstances that assail their faith and seek to dampen hope.
In the end, I’ve talked a lot about Ashley’s family (her mom, step-dad and brother), all hurting and struggling on different levels, and about her dad, a self-professed atheist who lost his only child and the love of his life. In his first email to me shortly after Ashley’s death Mike was incredibly kind, yet decidedly opposed to faith. But, he wrote to thank me for Passion and said he couldn’t deny the difference he had seen in Ashley’s life since she became a Christian.
As I shared this message of hope in the midst of pain, I would always end by saying something like, “I know, if this was a good “preacher story” there would be a nice bow on the end and Ashley’s dad would walk out and close our time in prayer….but life doesn’t work out that way and I don’t have a bow. Often, in this world, we don’t get a bow.” People would always laugh. Yet something powerful would settle over the message that rings true. Life doesn’t always end up working out the way we plan. You know it and I know it, but it doesn’t take one ounce of power away from our message, or the cross of Christ which immovably anchors our hope in a God who loves us no matter what, and who paints on a canvas bigger than we can see or imagine.
Mike and I would often write and talk back and forth about the life his daughter found in Christ. After hearing the Hope message he wrote, “I’m not sure you’re ever going to get your bow.”
After three years, I sometimes wondered if he was right.
But, as I say after sharing Ashley’s journal and story of faith, “Never count God out!” A few days ago an email came with the subject: New Year. New Life. It reads in part (with permission)…